Are you already fuming? Because same. The latest and “greatest” on the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA?)” subreddit comes from a dad of two who asked, “AITA for telling my wife that she would be infinitely more useful cooking and cleaning than chasing her dream?” And yes, the internet was rightfully ready to tear this man to shreds. Because what in the 1850?!
The man who originally posted (the “OP” in Reddit lingo) explained that he and his wife have two sons — ages 3 and 5. Two years ago, his wife told him she wanted to make money off Instagram. At the time, she was at home during the day with their then-1-year-old son.
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“We’re fortunate that I make enough money to support our lifestyle comfortably, and I encouraged her to go for it,” he said.
How It’s Going
Things aren’t going quite how OP’s wife would have liked.
“Unfortunately in the past two years as a hopeful Instagram influencer, she has not made a single cent,” he said.
At first, she tried to gain followers by doing postpartum workouts with “bizarre mobility movements” despite knowing “nothing” about fitness. “That went nowhere,” OP reported. Then she moved on to makeup tutorials, but that also “fell flat,” probably since there’s so much competition in that space.
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“Then she jumped onto this slice-of-life train, where she would make videos talking about her day, but to be frank they all were pretty boring, and she failed to attract any attention,” he said.
“The issue isn’t that she’s trying,” OP continued. “The issue is that she spends the overwhelming majority of her waking hours on Instagram and skirts her household responsibilities.”
What Does OP Do?
Meanwhile, OP wakes up at 5 a.m. to go for a run, makes breakfast for everyone, lunch for himself and his kindergartener, and then drops the little guy off at school.
His wife wakes up around 7:45 a.m. after being up late on Instagram and heads to the couch to continue scrolling and posting.
“Any attempt to get [my wife] to do something is met with complaining,” OP said.
OP then gets home from work around 5:30 p.m. and reportedly makes dinner for everyone, washes lots of the dishes, tidies up, bathes his sons, and plays with them.
Recently, OP got “fed up” with his wife because the house was a “complete disaster zone” — dirty laundry, dirty dishes, etc. — when he got home from work. When his wife said she was too “busy” to handle any of that, he “snapped.”
“I told her that her Instagram is going nowhere and that I’ve put up with it for two years longer than I should have, and that she would be infinitely more useful cooking and cleaning,” OP said. “She got this horrified look on her face and walked away. She went into the bedroom (naturally looking at her phone) and left me to deal with everything that night.”
So, dear readers, is he the a—hole?
Reddit’s Reaction
The internet was stunned by this one. Because you better believe they came in guns a-blazing! And then … welp … OP might actually have a point.
“I was soooo ready to rip this man a new one,” one person said. “Salivating at the f*cking MOUTH. 🥸 … I’m quite parched all of a sudden … NTA … but if a b💀tch don’t hang that hat tf UP & go to work??? Like come on now. At this point you might as well be single.”
“Same, I came here ready to eviscerate and …. well….. now? All I have is NTA to say.”
“Ya girl was LOCKED. And LOADED. 😭😭😭😭😭”
As one Redditor said, OP could have chosen his words more carefully, but his expectations aren’t unreasonable.
“There’s a reason that these things are usually side hustles until they go big,” said the top comment with 13.6 thousand upvotes. “It’s hard to make it. Having no job, bringing in no income, and contributing nothing to the household is not a realistic way to be a good partner. Could you have worded it better or been more tactful? Sure, but I get how you would just kind of snap in the moment.”
“I’m amazed OP put up with it this long,” one person said, and many agreed, wondering if it’s time to think about divorce. But we have to wonder what that would actually do at this point. Then he is once again left as the sole caretaker … but without the woman he still seemingly loves by his side.
It seems to us like it’s not time to pick up divorce papers. It’s just (finally!) time to put down the phone. Her family needs her. Not as a personal chef or cleaning lady. But as a present wife and mom.
Before you go, check out some of Reddit’s most horrifying money disaster stories.
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